Simulacrum

Poems Written on a Monday

2012-01-31T07:01:00.000-06:00

#1
I am my best friend
And that’s not saying much at all
Because sometimes
I’m no kind of friend at all.

You see, I see all that is me
Except what might not be real at all:
A perception, a concoction, a possible reaction
Of my emotional imbalance.

I’d like to think that I could make a better go at this
Thing we call friendship.
But, you see that I’m no good for you
If I’m no good for me.

#2
You showed up, walked by
Teased me, and tantalized
Dropping all of my defenses
Making all kind of sense
Holding hands
Spooning hearts
The gentle caress
And the breath
But when it’s safe
You left.

#3
How dare you speak up or even presume to think
That you are right about any of this.
You with your privilege and perspective
Been so blessed and blinded

If perhaps you wore my shoes!
Or perhaps if I were you…
Would you be saying
What I’m saying, and
How much am I like you?

#4
I am the hope of my grandfather
Who tugged and toiled at the
Back-breaking soil trying to build
A life out of a sow and a song.

I am the efforts of my father
Who was challenged to channel
Something meaningful for this
Crazy River

I am the delight of my mother
Who try as she might can see
No wrong in all that I’ve done

I am the lover of my children’s mother
Who knows that no romance can out dance
The synchronous rhythm of our souls

I am the father of my hopes and dreams
And wishes and schemes
And as you live I will not die.

#5
Complacence has no place
In a world where actions speak the future.

Apathy is not for me.

Because if it is true
You will never develop
But rather be enveloped
In an envelope
Of no hope.

My Sons

2011-11-05T19:39:00.001-05:00

Two threads pulled not so gently
From both ends of my patriarchal weave

First--tentative, then cautious, and now rushing;
Has taught me more than I had hoped;
Has taught me more than I had wanted.

Second--there’s something there that I don’t know,
And yet we are certainly and uniquely bound.
We are even another chance for something.

I will be spent;
Reweaved;
Recognizable by you
And in you.

Integrity

2010-12-10T19:28:00.003-06:00

Burden me your charge--
Your lips sewn on my mouth.
I argue and struggle for balance,
then concede with caveat.
I stand and deliver,
And only then you retreive
it like a stolen flag.
I'm left naked and alone.

Thinking About Mom

2010-05-09T20:48:00.001-05:00

In the coming years, I hope
That my children begin to feel
The way I feel when I think of you;
That they begin to see me as I see you;
That they remember times
Like lying together under starry sky
And counting shooting stars;
And that these moments become years.

Midlife Crisis

2010-05-02T21:25:00.000-05:00

I once heard a kid exclaim himself then flip his hair
As if he were James or John or an egoed Irish punk.

And a grandmother sits--her shrinking bones and baggy skin
A faintness of her once wild youthful explorations.

How many moments between, of much greater importance,
Are lost and never ever retrieved?

Theology

2010-04-03T15:54:00.000-05:00

Lost and lonely,
You took me in.

How can I,
But do the same?

Looking Out My Back Window On A Sunday Afternoon.

2010-02-07T15:14:00.000-06:00

Sunshine cutting through
Cold blue tarp and tree fingers.
We are fine weathered.

Apparently I am so important

2009-12-17T02:22:00.000-06:00

Morning marches;
Desperate anticipation;
Relinquish; extinguish.

No good
Can come
Of this.

El Sol

2009-08-02T20:42:00.000-05:00

asdf
asdf
asdf
asdf
asdf
asdf
asdf
asdf
asdf
asdf
asdf
It shines the same on you and me.
One great difference, then,
between us is what we choose to do.

Knowing Her

2008-08-13T22:38:00.000-05:00

Daily chores rarely hold her attention.

Perhaps she doesn't hold her's on them?

You may say she just hasn't learned stick-to-it-iveness yet.

But, oh her tenacious claw that holds on to each evening ember.

What a 7 year old thinks

2008-07-30T20:16:00.001-05:00

"It's impossible not to see birds right now."

~ Ava

This Evening

2008-07-26T20:37:00.000-05:00

Today's lamp slowly turns down,

And the crickets chirp beneath the cicada's song.

A dog clambers by at the heels of his walker,

And one, now two, bark in reply.

A lady next door peeks out to verify.

Good evening.

Want!

2008-07-10T20:54:00.000-05:00

I proudly father two fantastic children who keep me on my toes. I'm glad to say that I'm a better father than a blogger, as you can clearly see that I severely suck at maintaining any sense of continuity here. The thing about these two young-ins is that they often express what I feel. It's beautiful and frightening. I want to go to the pool; I want some food (how dare they ask); I want to do something (an exaggerated "something" that expresses their deathly boredom and my tyranny); and so on, and on, and on. I often, thinking I'm a little clever, reply " You Can't Always Get What You Want." I really capitalize on the power and influence of a good father here, huh?

Four things I've heard lately that somehow relate:

1. "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want"

~ Dr. Randy Pausch, from his Last Lecture as seen on Oprah

2. "The one thing that is certain is that our life will change. No pain lasts forever, and no happiness is permanent. Life is like a child's Christmas, with one unexpected gift after another. We don't know what is in the next package, but we know Who gave it to us. We can be sure that it was given with love, and that the last surprise will be as wonderful as the first."

~A clipping saved by my neighbor, David Franklin Bushman, 62 year old retired professor and artist, who recently passed from this life--it was one of his latest ponderings.

3. "All we have is time, and all we can buy with it are relationships."

~some blog I read

4. "Sometimes what we want keeps us from getting what we really want."

~some really hot chick I know